I don't even know if I would start posting regularly again, just think that it would be nice to finally vomit all these words/thoughts that keep poppin’ out in my head. Where should I put and share my long ass thought unless here, in my own personal, dusted blog? So here we go!
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2018 has been a wild ride. If I could summarize what's 2018 is, it would be 'challenge'.
Why 'challenge'?
To start of the year, me and my family finally put our roots in Jakarta, a whole 'nother city from my lovely hometown, Bandung. While, it's not really a foreign place since most of my mom's relatives are living here (heck, she's an immigrant in Bandung and originally from Jakarta lol) also my sister's husband's work is here. The only one who has no strings to this city is me.
If it ain't clear enough for you, here, let me kindly write it down on bullet points:
- My whole life, born and raised, I have always been in Bandung;
- Everything I do/I know revolves around the city, to the point that unless I have not made acquaintance with the internet, I wouldn't even know how to communicate with others from outside of the city;
- I have no friends from Jakarta, or at least friends that I would likely hang out with;
- I have no job. I was just graduated in the summer of 2017, resigned from my part time job around September and being led astrayed by this small company where I stupidly put a lot of my hopes and times for, or in another words I have nothing to do for quite some time;
- I used my bike to do my things, and unfortunately, my bike wouldn't be available for me to access in Jakarta. Have I mentioned that Jakarta is, scary big? Like, Bandung only have angkot as it main public transport mode and I WOULD HAVE TO USE BUS AND TRAIN, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BOARDED ON BY MY SELF AS MY MAIN MEANS TO GO PLACES? I was freaking out back then about this lol'
- Last but not least since I'm running out of ideas, moving in general is just scary, you feel me?
Thus, moving to another city is a challenge that I have never encountered in my life; to move from my comfort zone to a strange land (lol) where I basically start from zero and only have myself to rely on.
The next challenge was to found work here. It truly was a hardship. No matter what kind of positions I have applied to, which I believe I have what it takes, fulfilled the requirements etc etc I still failed to acquire one freaking job. I am a 24 years old guy, with a bachelor degree, a high GPA, tons of experience and confidence in how I present myself, managed to failed all the application/test/interview that I have been attending to. I would lie if I say it did not bruised my ego, and lower my self-esteem.
There goes my daily routine for about half a year, me getting used to how Jakarta works and seeking job here and there.
And then, some miracle happened.
I challenged my self to tried out to submit an application to be a flight attendant in an Indonesian flag carrier operator. Even though I was not confident at all and felt.... lacking, when compared to others. Amazingly, I kept on passing all the processes. At the same time, I was accepted as a (freelance, mind you) trainer in a start up company, specializing in Design Sprint training. AND funny enough, my first ever hooray of the job is to trained an airport company's employee in Soekarno-Hatta.
I always believe that everything happened for a reason. A reason unknown to us, but happened for the better. And, no joke, at that time I was like, "Lord, is this a sign?" lol
Several months later, I received what I marked as a turning point e-mail. In which said I was aCCEPTED AS AN INITIAL FOR THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT TRAINING. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I am going to be a cabin crew. To work in the aviation industry. I feel truly blessed! The bruised self-esteem that I got a couple months back, slowly, but surely, healed bit by bit.
The training process is hard and done rapidly in such a short period of time. It hasn't even finished yet. Somehow, I managed to do my best, and throw both my body and mind to it. I bypassed whatever fear I felt and doubt that creeping in with one goal: to get employed.
Whenever someone asked me how did I managed to hold it together, I always said the truth: I do it for my mom, I do it for my dad, I do it for my family. It's time for me to finally give them back what they deserved, after all the years of endless support they gave me.
I honestly lost my train of thought on what I initially want this post to be lol, but the last thing that I feel challenging in this year is: to introspect. I haven't been the best kid, I haven't been the best friend, I haven't been the best person to my self. And one thing that I finally able to apply in this year, in which I already realized in the year before, is that I finally can be at peace with my self.
I heard a saying somewhere that you can't truly move on your life if you have not forgive, accept and acknowledge your weaknesses. I am not saying I do it right, but I finally recognized my flaws and try to better it. Self-care is also a thing that I realized the importance of this year. I mean, now I can say no freely! I used to feel guilty and got guilt-tripped to say yes even when I do not want to lol. What a character development.
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2018 has comes to an end, and 2019 is just right around the corner.
It's truly been a mind-boggling year, one where I can't predicted, and one filled with wonders.
Year after year, I always made up some kind of resolution, just because everybody do it, and 'why the hell am I not?' mentality, to be forgottent the very next day.
Now, I don't have any particular, explicit resolution to write down except pass the flight training test and offered a contract lol but mark my word on this: 2019 will be my year.
